So I was walking down 10th Street en route to my weekly shopping when I passed a billboard advertising two new vodkas. Pardon me, two new flavored vodkas. Pardon me, two new flavored vodkas for which the public has clamored. Evidently.
Whipped Cream Flavored Vodka
Marshmallow Flavored Vodka – “Fluffed!”
I did not know that the people needed Whipped Cream Flavored Vodka and Marshmallow Flavored Vodka that is “Fluffed!” This is why I wish I was a normal person. You see, normal people will sit down at a bar and say, “Bartender! I want a vodka! But not an ordinary vodka, I want a flavored vodka! But not just any ordinary flavored vodka, I want a marshmallow flavored vodka! But not just any ordinary marshmallow flavored vodka! I want my marshmallow flavored vodka ‘Fluffed!’”
If I were normal, I wouldn’t think this was weird.
Believing that Bernardo Bertolucci gave conformity a bad name, I remain,
Vonn Scott Bair