Who Wants to Feel REAL Old? (Special 6-Parnassus Edition)


Good Morning:

All of you? Good. I’m glad it’s unanimous.

So I was riding the 6 home from work on Friday afternoon and found myself sitting across from two fine young lads discussing their plans for the night’s entertainment and making arrangements for the evening’s fun on their iPhones. One used his cell phone the old-fashioned way, calling friends and telling them his plans–more accurately, leaving messages on their voicemail. The other, a bit more technically inclined, sent out a tweet, posted his future location to foursquare, left an update on his Facebook page, et cetera. All this took maybe 3-5 minutes.

A brief pause after they finish their work.

The tech geek asked his friend, “How did people make plans to get together before cell phones?”

A much longer pause.

His caller friend said, “I have no idea.”

They thought about this for a moment and then began to speculate on how people got together in the Dark Ages BCP, Before Cell Phones.

“Well, they would have had to use landlines.”

“Do you even have a landline?” asked the caller. “I don’t.”

The tech geek said, “Got rid of mine years ago.”

“But you know, it used to be that people didn’t even have answering machines.”

“Holy s—. Can you even guess how many wasted phone calls that must have caused?!”

“So maybe they’d have to you know, visit each other to tell their plans.”

“Get together to make plans to get together. Crazy.”

“Maybe they would just mail invitations.”

“What? Before even something as old as email?! That would like, mean using paper.”

“Yeah, and stamps and envelopes. Think of all the money spent.”

“Yeah, if you think about it, cell phones save money, and time, and time is money-”

“So that’s money saved twice.”

They shook their heads in sadness at the thought of the difficulties people like us endured in the backwards years BCP.

The caller said, “I’m so glad I’m alive today.”

“Me, too.”

Hoping You Stay Forever Young, I Remain,

Yours Truly,

Vonn Scott Bair

(first shared with friends 18 January 2010)


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