First snippet, first guy “monologuing:”
“…but the micro-miniskirt is just ridiculous, man, I like the skirts with the controllable hemline, and I know you’re thinking, ‘What the f— is he talking about?” What I’m talking about is the skirt where the hemline goes down to just above the knee and when the girl sits down, the skirt stays down, but when you get talking to her and the next thing you know, the hemline has hiked all the way up to there, and that’s how you know hey, you’re getting somewhere…”
Second snippet, second guy “monologuing:”
“…and what got me stupid sober very quickly was–oh, ‘stupid sober’ is when you’re drunk and either you or someone says or does something so stupid that you get sober instantly–so what got me stupid sober was first of all, she told me she was seventeen and she got in with a fake ID, and then she told me about her job. See, she met this guy on Facebook who hired her to photograph himself naked doing…”
At which point, the 22-Fillmore arrived.
Vonn Scott Bair
PS–Originally “Monologuing” is what supervillains do when they have captured superheroes, but instead of killing them, the supervillains brag about how smart they are, allowing the superheroes to escape and capture them. First used in The Incredibles, for example, here.