So Awfully Naughty for So Awfully Young on the 22-Fillmore


Suze Orman on the Bus, 7/15/2007, Nikon Coolpix 4300

Good Afternoon:

So yours truly the modern-day intrepid caveman was returning home on the 22-Fillmore bus from his hunt, having bagged his prey (buffalo-milk Brie, celery, carrots, et cetera; cavemen ain’t what they used to be), and yours truly the intrepid hunter had intrepidly bagged a seat in the second-to-last row. The last row of most Muni buses have five seats, and these five seats held five children and their under-30 Hispanic-American mother (remember whan a less-than-30-years-old mom with five kids was not astonishing?). Mom had just finished nursing her infant (yes, in public, and yes, on the bus), and four of the five rugrats were calm and well-behaved.

The fifth one was the problem. I estimate his age at 3 or 4, and he sat by the window on the right side of the bus. He frequently pulled himself up as close to the opening in the window as possible and yell, no he would scream, no he would positively SCREECH!!! the same word, over and over, at the woman walking on the sidewalk.

The word he kept screeching? “PUTA!!!”

When I was his age, I didn’t know such a word existed. When I’m at my age, I don’t use such language at all.

Vonn Scott Bair

PS–Actually, I do swear sometimes; when I’m acting and the script calls for such language. Otherwise, no.

PPS–And sometimes, the characters in my fiction and scripts will swear, but only if they must. Otherwise, no.

PPPS–His mother did try to stop him, but never succeeded, and I have an ugly feeling this ugly-mouthed boy will become an ugly-minded man.


12 responses »

  1. May be puta means something else in Spanish? I know “food and drink are strictly prohibited” on Muni, but you don’t want an infant screaming next to his sibling. After 5 kids she probably doesn’t care where to nurse…

    • Anastasia: Like most Romance languages that have a word beginning with “p-u-t-a” (the French use “putain”), the meaning of the Spanish version is a nasty one. As for the nursing, everyone nearby scrupulously looked anywhere but in her direction, creating a sort of private space in public. Interesting concept, now that I think on it.

      • I actually admire my friends who could nurse on public. I think it’s the most natural thing – feeding the baby, and you shouldn’t hide. This one you cannot control – when the baby is hungry – you have to feed!.. Though, I nursed two babies, I wasn’t able to overcome the feeling of shame… So, I became a closeted mom 😉

    • Good Evening: For non-San Franciscans, the 38-Geary is a notoriously slow bus line that travels all the way from the Pacific Ocean to the San Francisco Bay, crossing the entire city. However, the ride becomes rather pleasant heading west as the sun sets and evening falls. Musical artists as different as Chopin, Dave Brubeck, Enya and the Dave Matthews Band offer an excellent aural complement as you watch the colors change on the horizon. It’s a pity the 38 doesn’t offer cocktails and snacks on such occasions.

  2. Vonn, would you send me your email address? David Landau here, at . I have a clip of you on my radio-show and would like to send it.

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