Totally Rolex, Mushrooms and Jailbait on the 33-Stanyan, 3 September 2012

Standard

Good Evening:

Three of them. Teenaged white boys, grey hoodies, baggy cargo pants low enough to show baggy underwear. One did most of the talking, the second tried to get in a few words knife-edgewise, and the third saw something on the ceiling of the 33-Stanyan bus that made him so happy it literally rendered him speechless, and all he could do was stare at it and grin in silence.

White & Blue Series #652: Rear of Orpheum Theater, San Francisco, California

First: …so when you’re totally dead, your Rolex is totally mine, dude, totally mine, I mean I want my number engraved on it so you’re f—— family knows it’s mine-

Second: But I’m not dead yet-

First: -totally just a matter of time-

Second: -I could live a long time-

First: -an’ way you live, long time could totally mean you live to maybe Christmas so make up your will, dude, and leave me the Rolex so I can totally remember you-

Second: -it’s a fake-

First: -totally don’ care, don’ care at all, soun’ like I care? I’m your friend, I get you mushrooms, best price in town, dude, 36 grams for two hundred bucks, that’s like a pound of ‘shrooms, you can’t e’en ge’ half pound for four hundred, can you, I know you can’t, you e’er ge’ half pound of mushrooms for four hundred? You can’t an’ you know you can’t, but you hear about K——-, the little b—- been after you? You know she’s got the hots for you?

Second: Yeah?

First: Stay away from her, dude, totally stay away, I dated her twice once and she’s like, she says she’s totally into me and I’m like, all right, then I hear that she’s fifteen, f—— fifteen years old, so I dropped her so fast-

Second: Don’t worry, I’m seventeen years old, so it’s OK for me-

White & Blue Series #653

First: But where can you get a half pound shrooms four hundred man, you can’t, you just can’t, but I can get 36 grams two hundred bucks, that all it cost me-

Second: I think mebbe sumpin’ wrong wi’ your math-

White & Blue Series #660

First: -so dude, totally give me the watch when you’re gone man-

At which point my stop arrived.

Vonn Scott Bair

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s