San Francisco: The City That Nudes How!


Good Evening:

I do not understand reality, but I love San Francisco. My hometown, “The City That Knows How,” has become “The City That Nudes How.”

I have in my hand the January 2 – 8, 2013 edition of the San Francisco Bay Guardian, a free weekly newspaper with an unabashedly unashamedly liberal perspective and very interesting advertisements. Such as this one:


Yup–the one issue that practically screams San Francisco has returned. Public nudity is back. I beg your pardon, gentle reader: did I write “public nudity?” Political correctness politely and poutingly prompts me to write “body freedom.” The issue of publi–body freedom keeps coming back and coming back to my beloved hometown.

“Now that the nudity ban has been passed, come join us for a clothing optional protest…Nudity is still legal until February 1st.”

I did not know that nudity had enjoyed explicit legal status with the boundaries of the City & County of San Francisco.

“Tuesday, January 8th @ 12 Noon: Protest against Nudity Ban at SF City Hall steps (in case of rain go to Center for Sex and Culture).”

This is the clothing optional protest. The “in case of rain” contingency plan is not the only contingency plan: if you can’t arrange travel to San Francisco for the 8th, you can always come to the “Federal Court hearing” on 17 January @ 1:30 p.m. at the Federal Court House, 450 Golden Gate Avenue (yes, next block from where I work). Clothing might not be a mere option for that one.

But if you cannot attend either event, you can always purchase the book. Pardon me, this is San Francisco: you can always purchase the e-book. “All proceeds go to nudist legal defense and body freedom events/actions.” I have no idea what sort of content you will find in this e-book, but you might see what they have in mind at

I still don’t want to photograph the festivities. I haven’t done it before and I don’t want to do it now. This must count as a rare occasion outside of X-rated movies and photo shoots where all of the nudis–body freedom advocates want to be filmed/photographed/recorded doing what they believe that they do best. But I don’t want to do what they want me to do.

It still feels so, well–look, I also want to protest. I don’t want to look at the naked people, I want to deprive them of at least one spectator. San Franciscans are a contrary people, so I have a reputation to uphold.

Vonn Scott Bair


4 responses »

  1. Pingback: Phoneography Challenge: My Neighborhood – World Naked Bike Ride Spring 2013 « The San Francisco Scene--Seen!

  2. Pingback: The San Francisco LGBT Pride Parade of 2013 (Weekly Photo Challenge: Companionable) | The San Francisco Scene--Seen!

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