The stories just keep on coming, and no, I never invent any of this material.
Aside from the First Great Love in the back of the bus, it was just another ride on the 43, heading north to the Marina. In this case, these were two young men, maybe 20 years old, wrapped up in their first omigod-this-could-be-the-one-how-did-I-get-so-lucky-our-love-will-last-forever love affair (and who knows? Perhaps it will last another 75 years). But since these were two young men, there was one slight complication, and as usual, the one slight complication consisted of their friends and families. I’ll call the two young men L and R, for reasons that will become obvious.
L: All of my friends were horrified when I told them.
R: That you were coming out of the closet, right?
L: They were horrified that I had fallen in love with you.
R: Because we’re gay.
L: No, it’s your politics. They’re all afraid that I’ll turn into a Rush Limbaugh lover like you, subscribe to the National Review, and all that.
R: Oh, yeah, well my friends don’t approve of you. They think you’re going to turn me into a Rachel Maddow worshipper.
L: She is like a total goddess! If I were a woman-
R: -if I were a woman I’d think she was hot, too.
L: You rightwingers are so pervy. But what did your friends say when you came out?
R: They didn’t care. They said it was totally obvious I was gay. Swear it was like they knew before I did. What did your friends say?
L: Come on, they’re liberals, what do you think they said? One of the guys tried to hit on me. I hadn’t known about him.
R: You liberals are total sluts.
L: And conservatives are jealous. Well, what did your parents say to you when you finally came out?
R: Ah yes, my parents.
L: Oh, dear.
R: Only the most conservative parents in the world.
L: How bad was it?
R: Not what I expected.
L: Omigod, they disinherited you.
R: Worse. They were OK with me being gay.
R: They went libertarian on me.
R: They love me, no matter what.
R: How did your parents react when you told them?
L: They’re liberals. What do you think? They want to meet you.
R: Great. They’re going to brainwash me.
L: Probably. So your friends and your parents don’t mind that you’re gay.
R: And your family and friends don’t mind.
L: They just don’t like your politics.
R: Mine want me to dump you because you’re a liberal.
A moment of silence. The two young lovers sat together, hand in hand, facing forward and contemplating their situation. Finally, they said one more word, in perfect harmony.
Wondering if maybe they don’t realize how lucky they are, I remain,
Vonn Scott Bair