Daily Archives: October 31, 2013

I Do Not Understand Reality, Special Urban Decay Edition! (30 Oct 2013)


Good Evening:

What do you think of when you think of urban decay? Something like this?


Think again, dear reader.

Think cosmetics. Women’s cosmetics.

During the course of my weekend chores, I blundered past sales booth at Macy’s devoted to a line of women’s makeup called Urban Decay (“Beauty with an Edge.”). The colors looked exactly the same as the colors of the makeup at the other booths, but hey, that’s just the guy writing–I’m sure that like any other clueless guy-type person, I could not detect the ob-vious, ever so ob-vious differences.

But I’m sure that Urban Decay (“Beauty with an Edge.”) fills a needs. I can easily that there are women out there who say, “If I can’t spread some decay on my face, then I won’t go out at all.” Or perhaps something like “I feel naked without some decay on my lips.”

Um, wait.

I can’t imagine any woman saying that. Let me try again. I can imagine a woman saying, “I don’t feel beautiful without Urban Decay on my face.”

No, actually, I can’t.

“Nothing brings out my inner beauty quite like decay.”

“My decay is beautiful.”

“Only decay can make my eyes look their best.”

Still can’t. But if I can’t understand why a brand name like Urban Decay is perfect for eye shadow, blush, or lipstick, then one must conclude that I Do Not Understand Reality.

Vonn Scott Bair

PS–The Boston Red Sox just won the 2013 World Series. Looks like I’ve jinxed The Curse again and let the team its third championship in ten years. Probably still won’t get a World Series ring.