Congratulations! I’m Old!

Standard

Good Evening:

As usual on a Saturday, the Upper Haight’s bluesman played for spare change…

DSCN9332

…but he stopped for a moment to say to me, “Sir, I must congratulate you for having such a lovely wife, no, wait, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize she’s your daughter, you have a lovely daughter.”

Actually, I don’t. He thought this not-all-that-young woman was my “daughter:”

DSCN9330_3

Then I arrived home and found a piece of junk mail that began, “We’re sorry we haven’t gotten in touch sooner!”

It came from the AARP, American Association of Retired Persons.

Sigh.

The only nice thing about getting old is that the only alternative stinks.

Vonn Scott Bair

Advertisements

4 responses »

  1. Could be worse. He could have said granddaughter 🙂
    Feeling old myself. I helped my daughter and her roommates move from their 2nd floor apartment to a 2-story house. Every bone, tendon, and joint in my body aches. Better workout than I ever got on a Stairmaster.

    • cynthiamc1: “Granddaughter?!” Yikes. Now I have something else to look forward to. Although if someone ever says “great-granddaughter” I suppose I should feel fortunate. Vonn Scott Bair

  2. “Then I arrived home and found a piece of junk mail that began, ‘We’re sorry we haven’t gotten in touch sooner!’

    It came from the AARP, American Association of Retired Persons.

    Sigh.”

    They must be losing it. They hit me right at 50, almost before the birthday candles cooled off (figuratively).

    “The only nice thing about getting old is that the only alternative stinks.”

    As someone who just made a major demographic age transition, i can think of two more:

    1) Turning from 54 to 55 as i just have, one goes from late middle age to young senior citizen—one gets to be young again!

    2) Senior discounts and specials. The discounts i’ve seen don’t kick in until 65, yet some places (AAA for one) have special senior programs which kick in at the ripe young age (my opinion) of 55.

    Well over a year ago now, i was bicycling slowly past a group of school children (i’m guessing elementary school age) in uniforms, several of whom were giving me grief with the inclusion of the word “grandpa”. This bothered me quite a bit until i did a little bit of reckoning:

    A) Judging by appearance, attire, and conversational attributes, these children were all or nearly all latino. As a sweeping generalization, latino families in my experience tend to marry and have children younger, hence generations are more closely clustered than in my extended family (of which i am a genetic dead end, and thus in a sense a Darwinian failure). Being in one’s 40s would qualify one for grandparent status.

    B) I was probably 53 when this happened (i don’t remember precisely how long ago this happened). Thinking carefully about it, when my own (maternal) grandfather was the age i was at that time—53—i was already alive and about 2 years old. He was already a grandfather at 53!

    Conclusion: I was (and am) qualified by virtue of age (and, regrettably, appearance) to be looked upon by strangers as a grandfather (despite having carefully chosen throughout my life not to reproduce). Not happy about it, but them’s the facts.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s