Spam Scam Poetry, 9 December 2014!

Standard

Good Evening:

I get lousy spam at home. And so little of it, too.

But work! That’s another matter. One of the email boxes I co-manage gets a lot, and today I found a doozy. Behold its unedited form:

hey, how are you doing! It is better than all weight loss diets <Spam Scam URL Deleted!> Christopher Pasquini It might have lasted indefinitely except for thе fact that ella kaye came on board one night in boston and a week later dan cody inhospitably died. But today we had thе emergency meeting in thе parish rooms and really you wouldnt believe thе time it took. Its a very small village too. In a corner half-a-dozen girls examined thе glazed tables that hеld thе decorationsenglish and foreignof thе late lord marshalton.

I know that doesn’t seem too promising. Behold now the miracle of editing, as I transform spam scam email gibberish into a previously unknown work by T. S. Eliot, a section of Gerontion that he ultimately deleted. Ahem.

 

one night in boston

Adapted from non-existent notes of T. S. Eliot

and Edited by Vonn Scott Bair

 

It might have lasted indefinitely

except for thе fact that

ella kaye came on board

and a week later dan cody

inhospitably died.

 

Its a very small village too.

 

But today we had

thе emergency meeting

in thе parish rooms

and really you wouldnt believe thе time it took.

 

“It is better than all weight loss diets!”

“Christopher Pasquini!”

“hey, how are you doing!”

In a corner half-a-dozen girls

examined thе glazed tables

that hеld thе decorations

english and foreign

of thе late lord marshalton.

 

Now that’s poetry. Lousy poetry, but it is poetry.

Vonn Scott Bair

PS–And only a little plagiarism: “In a corner half-a-dozen girls examined the glazed tables that held the decorations—English and foreign—of the late Lord Marshalton” comes from the short story “Edge of the Evening” by Rudyard Kipling.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s