Turkish Spam Poetry! At Least, I Think It’s Turkish.


Good Evening:

Regular readers know that I like to take the spam emails that arrive in my In Box and rearrange them into poetry. But I don’t know what to do with this.

The Subject Title:

ismim gamze ben cidi anamda konusup tanismak isterim aslen izmir konakliyim eyer sende istiyorsan resimler bak eyer sende istersen konusursu

The Text:

once size ratsizil verdiysem cok ozur dilerim benim ismim gamze uskupte makedonyada yim su an  ama aslen izmir konakliyim babam izmirli yani ama babami trafik kazainda kaybedince anem burdan yani makedonyadan evlilik yapmis bn kucuk ken tabi bes yasindayken ve simdi artik 25 yasindayim ve uvey babanin yaninda yerim olmadini dusunuyorum artik o uzden kendi yivami kurup hayatima deevvam etmmek istiorum ve ben buyum yani kisaca kendimi tanitim sanirim eyer sende olur dersen ara konusalim 0038970420755 bu benim cep numaram eyer ararsan konusurus mailinizi kiz arkadasim bilgisayardan cikardi 

ona nyetimmi anladinca oda senin uygun oldunu dusundu cevabinizi bekelrim cevabinnizibekelrim 

eyer ratsizlik verdiysem senden cok ozur dilerim

Beneath this a picture of a smiling woman with black hair covered with a scarf, sitting on the curb of a paved road in some village. My very wild guess is that I have been invited to join a dating phone service for Turkish men, because I think that long number is a telephone number. I have always associated words that start with “iz” and end in “im” or “ik” with the Turkish language (an association that might prove hopelessly wrong, and I hope I don’t accidentally offend anyone). On the other hand, this could still be total gibberish. Or total obscenities and porn. I’m rather taking a chance here.

But here is my horrific attempt at a blank verse poem, using only the Subject Title and trying to keep it as close to ten syllables per line as possible.

Lovelorn and Lonely on a Loveless and Lonely Road

A Spam Poetry Poem by Vonn Scott Bair

ismim gamze ben cidi anamda

konusup tanismak isterim

aslen izmir konakliyim

eyer sende istiyorsan

resimler bak eyer sende

istersen konusursu

Vonn Scott Bair



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